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A Lesson in Self-Acceptance
11 Feb 2020 11:00:00 | Author: Caryl
I've been thinking about how much I accept about myself nowadays and remembered the time that I finally learnt that my height - or rather the lack of it - used to cause me quite a bit of anguish.
A few years ago, I was given this lesson in self-acceptance. I had thought I was fully there, but a high-heeled gold sandal was to show me more.....
I had a family wedding to go to and for weeks beforehand, I had narrowed my outfit choices to two dresses. I knew exactly which sandals to wear and as they co-ordinated beautifully with both dresses, I was set....... Except for the fact that when I looked for them, I found that the heels had very much come away from the soles. I took them to a shoe repairman to have them re-glued and he said he'd have them ready in a week. When I went to collect them, I noticed a huge black slash down the side of the heel and asked what had happened. I was told that it must have been there when I gave them the shoes, although I know it wasn't, as I wouldn't have bothered getting them re-glued in the first place. Anyway, they agreed to try to cover it up somehow and asked me to come back in another week. So, after another week, I went back to collect them and they had filled in the black mark with gold coloured paint, to "blend in" with the rest of the shoe. I wasn't completely happy, but by this time it was too late for new shoes, and the gold colour wasn't as noticeable as the big black mark, so I was told, "no charge" and I took them home.
Now, these sandals weren't massively high, probably just under 3 inches and as I barely scrape the 5' 2" mark, they were only going to get me up to about average height. This family wedding though, was my husband's side of the family and they are all VERY tall - probably between 5' 8" and 6' 8"! I knew that all the women would be wearing heels of 3" or higher, so really needed to wear my sandals to keep things in proportion!
Well, on the day of the wedding, I was helping my sister-in-law (the bride) and the bridesmaids to get ready, when I noticed that something felt loose on my foot. I looked down and saw that the strap of my sandal (the same one with the gold slash down the heel) had completely broken away from the sole. With only minutes before having to get the bride into the car, there was nothing I could do but to replace my broken sandals with a flat pair I had happened to put in my car for later (just in case I had overdone the dancing or something!).
I suddenly realised that I had been given a number of signs leading up to this and had just not listened to them. It was time to accept ALL of me, and that included my height (or lack of). For years I had felt that my height had made me appear "less important" than others, and that I had to try harder to be taken seriously, or be really heard. In fact, I did go through times of actually feeling inferior because of it. All these little hiccups with my high-heeled sandals were signs, teaching me to finally accept my height. This little lesson made me realise that it doesn't matter that I am smaller than anyone else. I am still just as important, as real and as relevant as anyone.
Well, I found myself sitting at a table with the tallest person in the family and finally, totally, owned WHO I AM! I proudly wore my gold flats and felt like the real me.
When we are given signs, we don't always see them straight away, but when we finally do see them and understand, they are a real blessing. I was extremely grateful for this one and all others that I know are still to come!
Now all I have to do is get hubby to stop bending down when we have our photo taken together (the above photo was taken at the above-mentioned wedding), but maybe his 6' 2" height is an issue he will deal with when he is ready.
Love & blessings,
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